Day 2: The Hangover

DON'T.EVER.DRINK.THUNDERBIRD.





While $5 and 14% alcohol sound like a really awesome idea, it always ends terribly. By that I mean you have an awesome night, watch torture porn with your friends, get home, bone, and go to sleep. And of course, wake up puking NEON GREEN BILE. Like, seriously, that Crayola crayon like, "electric lime" or some shit. Seriously. Awful. So, after like 3 naps, a few slices of Dominos Pizza, Chicken Kickers and major amounts of water, I felt okay enough to do my laundry, and do some yoga!

I even got Nate to do it! Since he was drunk, and I was hungover, we only made it 15 minutes into the hour long session. But hey, the point is, even though I was wallowing in my self-inflicted hell, I still stuck to Operation: Hot. I'm proud of myself. And I got to stare at Nate's booty in downward dog. Bonus.

Since today's blog was lame and uninspiring, and utilized terrible grammar, I'll leave you with some comedic gems that are hilarious if you're me or Nate. Promise I won't be hung over tomorrow.

Day 1: Success. But it always is, isn't it?

Let me start out by saying that yoga is way more serious than I thought it was. Especially from this guy:

Seriously. Invest in this DVD. Or be cool like me and borrow it in torrent form for a little while. It's an hour long, and my abs were shaking, all the while clearing my head. INTENSE! After yoga, I made a couple good descisions, and practiced my bass. Learning new basslines makes me happy, and hobbies are hot. And this whole thing is about being hot, right?

After the earth shattering yoga, I decided to jog. AND I MADE IT AN ENTIRE MILE! Keeping with my highschool speed of a 14 minute mile. WOO! It's nice to know that after 10 years, I still suck, but at least I don't suck worse.

"FUCK SHOES!"- exclamation. Not to be confused with "fuckshoes", noun.

I was going to try and do some upside down crunches off my pull-up bar, but when I attempted to hoist my legs over my head, I got a charlie horse so bad in my right butt cheek that I fell to the ground laughing. The kind of laughter that gives you jelly-bones and you can't stand up. I decided that was a neon sign to call it quits for the day.

All in all, not too shabby. If I can do this same routine tomorrow, then maybe I'll actually believe that I can handle this lifestyle change.

I'll leave you all with a killer song, and one of the basslines I learned today. Time to paint my toesies!

Operation: Hot

This blog is dedicated to my quest in becoming hot again. I used to be a totally in shape, sex machine, getting hit on all the time type-person. Now, I'm a pudgy, lazy, married person. Not that marriage has anything to do with this, coz my husband has actually LOST weight (Trainspotting looking asshole!).

I'm not giving myself a deadline, coz those don't work. And I'm not giving myself too many rules, because, gods know I'll rebel against those too. What I am giving myself is a ratio to follow. Operation: Hot will consist of:

• 70% physical activity
• 20% not eating shitty food all the time
• 10% girlie stuff. leg shaving, toenail painting, etc. 

I put physical activity up there so high because I'm FUCKING LAZY. I put not eating shitty food all the time kinda low because I generally eat alright. But, the second I forbid Taco Bell, it's 3 Nachos Bell Grande's down the gullet. However, it's that little 10% that I think will be the greatest challenge. Even when you see a chick who's not that great in the looks department, if her face is did, her nails are nice, and her nylons aren't snagged, she gets bumped up to "good looking", or "pretty". And I'd rather be hit by an 18 wheeler than to fall out of the "pretty" category.

I'm not sure how often I'll be updating this. Absolutely daily, but possibly more than once a day. Some of it will be super boring stuff like, shit I ate, what workouts I did, blah blah blah. But sometimes I'll post pics of me trying to pretend I'm totally athletic, and those are always funny. You're welcome.

Here goes nothing!